09 Aug 2021

[106] Deep Presence in Relationships

Emotional Intelligence + The Charisma Myth


  • Based off of brazen impudence which is light-hearted inner conviction in relation to whatever it is that I want to see in my world, this time applied to relationships
  • Power may be defined as “organized and intelligently directed knowledge.” Power, as the term is here used, refers to organized effort, sufficient to enable an individual to transmute desire into its monetary equivalent”
    • Organized effort is produced through the coordination of effort of two or more people who work towards a definite end in the spirit of harmony (benefit for them, me, divine, and evolution aka the golden rule)

Emotional Intelligence

  • Tension and inner resistance can be caused by too much identification with future, and not enough presence
    • Regret and non-forgiveness can be caused by too much past and not enough presence
  • Five components of emotional intelligence
    • Self-awareness. The ability to recognize and understand personal moods and emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others
      • As I interact with others, I want to practice a higher degree of self-awareness as to what my emotions are revealing. Key signs are tension and inner resistance. With practice I am able to understand the meaning that I am assigning to the people or the words that they’re saying in regards to the conversation, the interaction both verbal and non-verbal, and change the interpretations real time
      • Knowing one’s emotions. Self-awareness – recognizing a feeling as it happens – is the keystone of emotional intelligence
    • Self-regulation. The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods, and the propensity to suspend judgment and to think before acting
      • In any interaction, if the other person invokes responses within myself in which I bring for a fight or flight type of impulsive response, in that moment I can pick up on it
    • Internal motivation. Internal motivation such as flow that comes with being immersed in an activity
      • Marshaling emotions in the service of a goal is essential for paying attention for self-motivation and mastery, along with creativity
      • Emotional self-control – delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness – underlies accomplishment of every sort
      • And being able to get into the “flow” state enables outstanding performance of all kinds
      • People who have this skill tend to be more highly productive and effective in whatever they undertake
    • Empathy. The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people
      • Empathy builds on self-awareness; the more open I am to my own emotions, the more skilled I will be in reading feelings
      • People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle social signals that indicate what others need or want
      • This makes them better at callings such as the caring professions, teaching, sales, and management
    • Social skills. Proficiency in managing relationships
      • Handling relationships. The art of relationships is, in large part, skill in managing emotions in others

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