I’m sitting here on a bench under a tree in an undisclosed location in Florida, and I’m thinking about life. Let’s get into it.
As of yesterday, I was officially accepted into medical school.
So while I’m still processing exactly how I feel about this, and how this is ultimately the culmination of the past few years of my life, I’m still in the midst of really appreciating all the emotions that I have.
I do want to take a more objective look, and what exactly I am trying to become a physician for.
So, the fact of the matter is that medical school is another four years of formal education at this point in my life I think that’s truly what I’m seeking.
But, I have questions about that.
For example, for four years of undergrad, looking back from day one, to classes to graduation, growth and my sense of self, my appreciation of life, and my outlook, and how I operate in this world has changed so drastically and I’m almost feeling for more of that change.
However, the question is, would I have experienced that same change with or without the four years of undergrad?
Is it simply the act of evolution of growth, enough time and experience that led me to mature and ultimately grow into who I am thankful to have become?
Or was this the result of a formalized education so with medical school, there’s not only going to be the opportunity to grow beyond my perceived comfort zone, there’s going to be the opportunity to align with a personal calling that I’ve heard there is a distinction between either become a medical student and ultimately a physician, because you see that role as one with a personal and professional calling in life or on the other side of the spectrum.
You simply see it as a career.
It’s a job, unlike no other.
And the goal of mine is to tap into where I fall on that spectrum.
As of right now, I’ve worked in healthcare, I’ve seen my roles as jobs.
However, what I am doing in my day job is only just a drop in the bucket compared to the opportunities that arise with a proper medical education and training.
So because of that, I am excited and eager in this path that is the next four years and beyond.
However, my thoughts are not all optimistic.
So what is my ultimate purpose of becoming a medical student?
I wish to learn about the human body, the mind and how the spirit is intertwined between both with this constant understanding of one’s baseline and with that, an understanding of how and why things go astray.
When things go wrong.
I do not like the idea of not being able to approve upon those faults.
And with that comes the assumption that others do not like it when there is this harmony between their mind audit and spirit and in whatever way that comes to fruition.
My role as a physician would be to work with and uncover where people have gaps, where they’re misaligned, and together propose solutions to bring ease to their disease, ideally for the long term.
To me that sounds like a combination of intellectual rigor and subjective creativity.
So with that, I focus as a medical student is to become the empathetic, knowledgeable, personable and well trained physician that can and will provide solutions to challenges that are deeply intertwined with human nature.
However, to me, the question comes down to whether I want to provide deeply personal and meaningful care to one person at a time in the clinic, or do I want to use my medical education to build goods and services that can ultimately facilitate the success of others?
Well, I have 11 months to explore my thoughts and feelings before I begin medical school.
With that, I have a lot of work to do, personally, professionally, inside and out.
I’m hopeful that remaining transparent and my thinking will improve my ability to convey my thoughts in ways that are aligned with reality and in harmony with the collective.
In doing so will allow me to assume a position that is aligned with my natural strengths and interests, while setting myself up to be able to provide the level of care that is needed most at both the individual and the community levels.
I appreciate you all.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.