29 Sep 2022

[27] Why wanting something is stopping you from having it

This conversation is an extension of one that was being had within the Spiritual DAO discord community.

And this one was all about masculine and feminine energy.

And if you zoom out, it’s the duality of life itself.

More specifically, it’s good, bad, right, wrong, creating, receiving, giving, taking, etc.,

And, ultimately, the consensus was that the ultimate goal is being balanced, and if you’re not, then restoring balance in all walks of life.

I will raise the following point:

When finding balance within any and all parts of one’s life, one may seek to change their lifestyle, evolve beyond old patterns, and improve in whatever way brings one closer to their goals.

While this is great from a biological perspective, it is incredibly important to not be doing this because you feel like you MUST change, evolve, or improve to attain your goals.

So, what do I mean by this?

A challenge that I’ve been facing and striving to overcome, more so each day, is balancing the desire of improving myself along certain metrics, and while doing so, becoming mangled up in unnecessary desire.

That sounds pretty vague, so let’s go deeper.

When we wish to improve our lives, I’m claiming that the desire to improve our lives is actually STOPPING us from improving our lives.

But, how can this be possible?

Think about it in the context of sports.

Let’s say my goal is to get better at tennis.

Now, what will actually get me better at tennis?

Is it:

– Wanting to get better


– Playing tennis?

Clearly, the way to get better at something, is to do that thing.

Now, there is room for argument saying that the desire is what will get you to actually do what the task at hand.

But, that can be addressed.

I’ll give an example:

Yes, perhaps we need a desire to actually get us out onto the tennis court to play tennis.

But, does that desire have to be wanting to improve at tennis?


Can that desire be wanting to be out in nature?


In fact, I’d go as far as to say that it is healthier to live this way.

Do you want to improve your technical capabilities, then getting so wrapped up in wanting to improve will prevent you from sitting down and getting it done.

The goal is that, when troubles, difficulties, or distractions arise, they are quickly and easily accepted and because you are unswayable from putting that work in.

By recognizing that you don’t need to change who or what you are in order to achieve your goals,  then you can focus more strictly into what it is that is going to actually aid in your abilities to achieve your goals.

Alright, well to be honest, I’m still uncovering these thoughts and feelings within myself, so if you have anything to add, point out, or contrast my statements with, then please do so in the Discord or in the comments below.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

for the following reasons:

1. We aren’t attaching so tightly to the goal to the point where we condemn ourselves or anything that gets in our way

2. We avoid overanalyzing the tasks at hand because we are able to put in the time, effort, and energy

Alright, so we don’t wish to improve our lives because we don’t wish to improve our lives through a desire to improve our lives. Rather, we improve our lives by actually improving our lives.

So what does this mean? Well, we have desires, you want to get better at a technical skill. You want to get better at implementing a certain strategy. You want to get better at this or that or the other. Now what actually gets done from this desire in this desire alone? Seriously, what gets done? Does anything get done? Now you may be thinking that, Oh, through this desire, I’m able to get myself to do the work. But if you skip that process, then what actually improves you? Well, it’s the work itself. It’s actually putting in the time the effort and the energy. Now if you can get yourself to do the work without the desire, then that is where you’re able to restore the balance remain. So that is what I’m proposing shouldn’t be truly sought after. Where you’re not, you’re transcending desires of improvements, because you recognize that you love yourself for who you are at this time and in this place, you are content. If you do absolutely nothing for the rest of your life. You don’t need to do anything

however let’s give an example. Let’s say you’re playing a sport. Now, if you have a desire to improve at that sport, then

that’s not going to get you as far as simply playing the sport. Now to go a step further. Having a desire to play the sports having a desire to be better at the sport may actually dampen your ability to actually play the sport and be better at it. Let’s say let’s say you shift your desire to one that is neutral to what you’re ultimately working towards. Let’s say you have a desire to spend time out in nature. Well, then when you’re playing the sports and you’re out in nature, you’re fulfilling your goal. I’m actually I would go a step further and say that your competitiveness may not even change from this. This this change in perspective applied to business. Yes, you want to build the MVP and sell those products. However having the desire of selling the product and earning the money is not going to ultimately bring you any closer to that goal. Well as actually putting in the work, putting in the efforts, spending your time doing what needs to be done and to go one step further, you may actually enjoyed the process more. There’s no added pressure of Thank you. Thank you. Thank you

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